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Am I the Only One

 
 
Yesterday at a flower show I met a woman and her daughter and we had an oddball conversation.
 
Somehow we very quickly go on to the subject of ‘things you never talk about’ – sometimes not even with your close friends, and very rarely with strangers.The Mother then said “you think you’re the only one”. And so we talked about the secret thoughts we have that we don’t share with anyone else. The thoughts that go “Am I the only one who …….. – has had  a miscarriage, feels depressed, thinks life is not worth living, that I haven’t lived my best life, that I should do more with my life, that I am worthless,  ……………………. (fill in the blank)”.
 
It made me think that perhaps it’s time we did start having those conversations – not as in spill your guts to everyone we meet, but to somehow stop having those conversation only with yourself  in the dark of night; those thoughts are corrosive and of course lead to depression.
 
Getting them out into the open can be a very healing thing.  Because you usually discover that the person you are talking to has had those same thoughts or feelings – maybe over a different problem, but certainly the same thoughts.
 
And here’s a long bow for you.  What if world peace could be served by sharing your deepest and darkest thoughts?  What if, by exposing your frailty to others you also share your human-ness and we all start to see how we are the same, not how we are different.  And when your next door neighbour (who you’ve known for 20 years but never shared a thought with) hears that you too feel lonely, or sad you might just have a better neighbourhood through sharing a common thought.  I wonder if world peace could be that easy?  I imagine you couldn’t shoot someone, or blow them up, if you knew they’d just had a miscarriage, or been diagnosed with prostate cancer.
 
I’ve focused only the negative things here.  That’s because it’s the negative things we need help with, that we need others to comfort us.  Sharing the joy is easy, sharing the ‘sads’ is hard.
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